21
Apr
2008
What Can I Do?
What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What will change I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there,
And love me?
- The Corrs
Warning: This is yet again another entry about my office crush.
On a pool party last weekend my good friend, Blaise, was asking me about my office crush. But then a few minutes after, she was telling me in an ironically friendly disdainful tone how slow I was with the whole thing. My eyes grew wide and asked her why? Why do I have to make the first move to put my one sided so-called love affair to the next level?
She then referred to my latest Multiply blog. That there I was professing my “undying love” to a man who doesn’t even know anything about me. So why can’t I go ask his name and ask him out, she asked.
You see in my ideal world, I will never ask a guy for anything, in a romantic setting anyways. I have always believed that guys have the balls to ask for a girl’s name, number and a date. I in return have already given him a smile, raised my eyebrows and a whole lotta glances. Apparently those weren’t enough for my office crush to know that I like him. But that’s all I have for him. I will not, not now or ever, go out to their work area, ask for his name or number. That’s just how it is for me.
We would be transferring to another office space in time and I will see him less when that happens. I would miss passing by their area and see his super messy hair, the only thing I see from his cubicle when I pass by, hehe. I would also miss the excitement I feel every time I pass their area and see if he is in or is absent for the day.
Ever since December last year, I have been silently praying for office crush to ask my name when I was finally sure he do notices me. During the company Christmas party I was by myself in the side stage watching the performing band when he stood beside me to “purposely” talk to his friends. And just recently I saw him looking at me through the reflection in our boss’ glass door. Ahhh, petty things, : (.
As I’ve said I have been praying for office crush to ask for my name. What I had in return was someone else from their team asking me for my name, some side comments and remarks I am sure that were about me when I pass by their area, and pitiful almost empty stares coming from office crush. He’s really good in showing that he doesn’t care I exist. Office crush, I am getting mixed signs from you.
So until I transfer office, I have to put up with the whole idea of me liking him and him not knowing anything.